Mortem

Been raining all week, it's been a crazy week, being at uni everyday just like last semester, though it's different. Company has changed, and while it's obviously a different feeling, I appreciate it nonetheless.

Almost everyday I think about death. Not saying I want to commit suicide, no choosing to die is not the same as not having the choice given to you. Just saying that if I were to suddenly die without a choice, it wouldn't be so bad. As long as I work hard and do my best for myself and others while I'm still breathing then I have no regrets. My only regret is that I've let things become the way they are. The irony of things is that I don't want people to get hurt, yet people are hurting. How could I hurt people you may ask. Well probably because I'm fighting demons. Yeah this is the first time I've ever admitted to this kind of thing but then again who doesn't have demons? I wrote a whole post about these demons of mine, well it's not finished, but I never intended to post it anyway. Why am I even saying all this stuff now? I suppose it's about time I stopped pretending that I was 100% fine. But then again who is really?

I hope things will be okay. Only time will tell.

Rain

Today I missed my bus going home from QvB station. Seeing that it would take another twenty minutes I decided to walk home. I'm glad I did. Something about walking in the rain (with an umbrella of course) feels nice, even a bit soothing. It's also a time where I can think about things, let my mind wander, that kind of jazz.

Actually have no idea why I'm writing this, just felt like sharing my simple experience of walking in the rain. Got an exam tomorrow, I'm confident, but it's a fool's confidence, as I haven't really gone through the lectures properly and my study has been solely on last years paper.