Despite sleeping relatively early, I wasn't able to sleep. Probably cause of the heat or the minor hay fever, or that I had a lot of things on my mind last night. So many mixed feelings left me really confused. The fact that I had conflicting emotions meant that there is something definitely wrong with me. Anyway the whole ordeal made me feel very unmanly which really sucked and I just wanted to sleep on it and deal with it today.
So I woke up at 8 but my bird was doing his morning squawking which is always loud and it made me close my door and try block out the noise by sleeping in. So I officially got up at 2pm. So food was had and seeing as I had nothing to do, I decided to get rid of all my old textbooks which were still around the house. And by "decided" meant that I was told to do so but I chose today to do it.
I've been reflecting and thinking a lot today. More than I have in a long time. Because honestly, I don't really like being so deep in thought and emotional. But we all have to do it sometime, that's a part of growing up. And I feel like I've got a long way ahead of me in the growing up department! So many things I have yet to do, and I want to do it right.
The primary emotion I'm feeling right now: guilt
Sure, it seems okay to just let things go the way they are. But the longer things go on, the more I feel eaten up inside, and the more damage it can do in the long run. Like a spirit bomb. It's time to man up and make the hard choices for the better. I hope I choose the right decisions.
Anyways no more downer stuff. I just remembered last night Kelvin quoted me something from his msn convo with Dan, which was very teehee. Feels like it was taken WAY out of context but teehee none the less. A lot of the crew seem to be really busy with uni stuff. High schoolers obviously are having exams. Though it makes me wonder if the crew can do the next performance despite our loss in manpower. Don't think it can be as good as our last performance but only time will tell.
On a side note, I wanted to say something about people obsessing over their name on coke cans/bottles. Yes I know how cool it is to find a coke with your name on it and it can be a pleasant surprise. But people who go as far as to line up just to have their own name printed at certain malls is a little bit sad. Did you forget that the point was to share that coke with the person with that name? So you're going to share a coke with yourself? Forever alone much? That's why if I do bother to do it I'd print the names of people I'd want to give to as gifts. Wouldn't that be much more nice?
Still have a lot of books to get rid of. I'll probably finish it by tonight. So that's pretty much the day. To end on a high note, here's something that made me laugh a lot. If you never played the game Maple Story then you probably won't find it as funny as I do.
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