Ultimately, I have no excuses. But in my mind, willpower is a quantifiable thing. If I could point out the main contributor to what was forcing me to use a lot of it, it would be the fact that you made her angry and sad. I don't care what you call me, but next time I see you I will hurt you in front of everyone.
Sigh, it's that kind of thought that I have to fight. Part of me wants to just let loose and do whatever I want. But the other has to remind the whole about the consequences of such actions, to forget and not let the other person win by being unhappy. I will live my own life, unaffected by people like you.
Anyways, by then I hope people understand why I felt down over something small. But it was just big enough to impact me, and I just didn't have enough willpower. I just "wanted" to feel sad as if I wanted to stop running, if that made sense. I'm sorry to the people who I worried. Next time I will make better use of my energy and not get brought down by such things.
On an unrelated note, I can't get this song out of my head now.
I'll be okay, I just have to remember that hatred puts me at a disadvantage, it will never get me anything. It's been a few hours and I've totally stopped thinking about it.
I feel conflicted about a certain subject. Been reading about it, trying to get perspective, etc. Hmm, I don't know what the right course of action is. The reason it's important is that I see it in me too sometimes. And I consider it a weakness and a curse. Maybe a fresh mind in the morning can help.
Anyways I should sleep now, if my sweet heart decides to study or exercise tomorrow, I want to be up and ready and not sleep in like usual. Goodnight.
So I haven't blogged in like forever, due to a lot of things, mostly laziness. Anyways I felt like writing up another post, out of my own free will *cough*.
Last Saturday was The Crossover 2 (or was it II?) which was real good, apart from finishing late, but that was no surprise. I actually wonder how early it would have been if it weren't for that certain someone lol. Showcases were good, I was in 3. Paradise and It's You was fun. Ages ago I wanted IJGK'd to do It's You mainly because it was a good song and we had the right numbers. I guess this was a good compromise. I had so many solos in that song and I was actually making stuff up during them. I haven't seen the video, and I don't feel like doing so anyway haha. The crew performance was good, despite sashes flying everywhere and it being our shortest routine, but hey we followed the rules! Popping routine (aka Beach Boogie) was full of fun, excitement and inspiration.
After we finished last minute practice Lay and Patrick shared their story of combining showcase because they weren't getting much students and didn't expect any to do showcase. If that actually happened they were going to finish showcases and teaching for good. They were surprised at how many people turned up for their showcase. The main point of their showcase was to teach us something, anything really. "Keeping the dance alive" is what they said, and that we should continue and one day teach the next generation. That really made me want to pick up my game and slack off anymore. I don't consider myself a popper, mainly because I can't do good enough hits or don't do enough practice for foundations. But that's going to change. I'm going to work on this style a lot, hopefully by the end of the year I will have improved somewhat.
Also on the way to Wesley with food, I bumped into Patrick and found out he actually knows about IJK'd and how cool it was that it was made by a bunch of people just from class.
Interesting additions to the show were added such as the video intros. It was like, beginning of the show then all of a sudden Jaye shows up with a laptop and wants this extra thing to be done, then we had to get the IT guy to enable switching the screen back and forth from the camera to the laptop. It was a bit messy (having to have the audience watch Windows 7 in action) and honestly it kinda got boring after a bit. Hopefully next time it'll be more streamlined.
Ever since youtube updated, it always glitches when I use my regular Safari, same problem when running google hangouts. Maybe it runs html6 or something. Anyways since it's all google I might just switch over completely to Chrome which I only use for uploading and using IJGK'd's youtube stuff.
By the way, google+ is awesome, chatting is so much better in hangouts. I really like the games and watching youtube together.
Time to talk about games and videos. Kinda late now so I'll just combine them haha. Far Cry 3 seems to be getting a lot of attention. It's pretty much "Skyrim with guns". I don't really feel like playing it but I do admit the characters are quite interesting. The villain in the game, Vaas, is one of those villains like The Joker from The Dark Knight. The voice actor for Vaas also plays him in the live action series they did in the lead up to the game's release.
My phone is the only source of Internet when I'm at home. Too bad this lame app can't let me read posts. I'm probably behind a lot. Today I still don't have Internet and I have a BIOT assignment due Tuesday. Anyways I hope people appreciate the things they have and not take it for granted.
Coming home everyday and finding out my Internet is still not fixed has left me disappointed and sad. Today I found out I won't get my internet back by at least monday which sucks a lot. I'm just in a whole heap of unhappiness right now, and hopefully it goes away.
While I'm feeling unhappy I might as well let out some negative feelings, like who the hell are you? I think my main problem against you is how you just assume you can just do whatever you want around us. You don't strike me as a social person at all, more like a stray puppy. But whatever, if I'm the only person who feels this way then I'll get over it. But right now, in the midst of all my unfortunate happenings, you piss me off.
I heard the new iPhone came out so I went to use the uni computers with Elena to check it out. It looked alright, they finally got rid of the glass back which I found stupid to begin with (glass made it look nice but drop it and it cracks and it scratches easy too. So people end up protecting it with a cover which defeated the purpose). Is it revolutionary? Definitely not. There aren't any real breakthroughs with this one. I think iPhone 4 was the best one to really change the smartphone industry standards.
I watched the video of it on the Apple website. My favourite thing about these videos is that they always use inspiring music and video effects that make it seem cool. Sadly it wasn't as awesome as when I watched the iPhone 4 and iMac, maybe I'm used to it? Bottom line, I don't think I want to buy an iPhone anymore.
Speaking of consumerism, I've been keeping my eye on this movie which is both creepy and fascinating. It kinda has a eye opening message kind of thing. The movie is called Branded and it's a conspiracy type movie about major companies secretly brainwashing us to buy their stuff and become dependent and passive. Did I mention it was creepy? Hint: don't watch it if you don't want to get creeped out.
LOL at the thumbnail. Also I find it stupid how they start the context with "what if..."
Wasn't gonna tell anyone but I was planning to do the Jay Park cover contest thing before the deadline changed. I was going to learn it tomorrow/Saturday and send it just before the deadline, just for fun. I don't want to take it seriously though, it'll probably stress me out or something. I saw one of the entries and it looked good, too bad it went over two minutes, not sure how strict Jaye will actually be. Kinda biased on wanting Carmen or at least someone I know to make it next round with that song.
These past couple of days were horrible. Day in and out I have done nothing but work on my literature review. I could worked on my BABS pracbook which sorely needs fixing up and catching up, or started revising for stats. Now it's Sunday and I feel like my head is going to explode. I wish this was over soon. Nine in the morning start tomorrow. I honestly don't think I can physically wake up in time. Almost finished. Too bad this last article is hard to understand and I have to go back and cut a lot of words since accidentally set the bar too high. I hope nothing like this happens again this semester.
