Struggles

Decided to do some exercise yesterday. Now all my limbs feel slightly sore. But it's not so bad, I felt much worse earlier this week. Guess it shows how weak I'm getting these days. And after some things, turns out my mind is also tired. I'm just tired everywhere.

Unrelated: the moon looks big and red today. Quite ominous.

Thank you Huy for telling me what options I have. Now the hard part is what to do. I honestly don't know what to do. Once again life reminds me that not everything can be so easy. Was so close too. You win this round life!

On another note, I feel uncertain about certain things. I feel like I've done something wrong. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and it's too early to decide.

Why is it now that I feel this pain?

As you can tell I'm feeling quite down today, but hopefully things will get better soon. It usually does.

On a happier note, I finally watched The Avengers. It was quite good.

There's a lot of things I'd like to talk about, I just don't know where to start.

Now the moon is huge and yellow. Like a giant ball of cheese.

Nothing's Sober

Last weekend was pretty eventful. Let's see if I can recall it all from the start.

I woke up an hour later than I should have which meant by the time I got to the city it would already be twelve which is when I was supposed to go to Wesley theatre to do stage rehearsal with Lay's group. Sorry to everyone in IJGK!

So I got off at Town Hall and thanks to experience I was able to know exactly where to go. I bumped into Justin at the front of Wesley and we went in to find Lay with Tao, Johann and Vincent. It was then our turn to rehearse and the floor was a bit rough which made sliding difficult so we had to compensate for that. A little while later, everyone from Crossover arrived an then IJGK's practice was up. I found it funny that Jaye made our music a file that wasn't an mp3. Also funny was that we thought the old version we were using turned out to be the latest one. After that was the Kpop course rehearsal. After that I was really tired since I didn't eat all that time.

So to fix the situation I decided to go quickly to eat at Mappen. I thought about going to McDonald's but I didn't want to eat something unhealthy and possibly make me sick later on. I ordered a large udon with an ontoma bowl and some tempura sweet potato. The meal was really filling and satisfying.

When I got back nothing much happened until later on when the show was about to start. I watched a few shows until 7:15PM when I had to go out and practice with Girls Are Stupid. At intermission, we did some more last minute practice. So the order for me was supposedly, Boyfriend/History/Party, then a song or two before doing Lay's showcase, then I Just Got K'd a bit after. What could possibly go wrong?

Getting ready for the my first performance of the night, I found out that Lay's showcase was right after this one and that my costume for it is completely different. There wasn't any way around it so my plan was to minimise the time to change my clothes and hope for the best. It was pretty funny actually. If you watch Boyfriend/History/Party you can see me off stage right during Party. I got changed and luckily Jaye was able to stall a bit by teaching more of the U-Turn routine to the audience. So thanks a bunch for that. Girls Are Stupid went off without a hitch, that's because girls are in fact stupid.

Soon after it was time for I Just Got K'd's showcase. Overall it was great, the crowd liked us and all. Though mistakes were definitely made especially on my behalf. I definitely won't be doing that mistake again! Also I think Warrior was done much better than MAMA. I also think maybe it wasn't the best song to end with, mainly because it goes from the high of Warrior's dance break to the first verse and chorus of MAMA which was low in comparison. Only the screaming part seemed to reset the equilibrium back to a high. I have no idea what I just said. Also despite comical moves such as spanking, it wasn't as cheer worthy as the performance at the Crossover. You know what I'm talking about.

Afterwards we got to relax and watch the rest of the show which involved the final battles and awesome showcases. Premature streamers were streamed and Devilicious once again blows everyone away with their amazing performance. Also I disagree, watching the practice isn't the same. The mood is set differently and they were giving their all into that final performance.

So concludes Upstaged 2012. The people started going home, and the people of Crossover headed over to Seoulria for the after party. Some of us stayed behind to do some cleaning. People can be so inconsiderate, leaving food garbage around when it clearly says not to bring food in. Well what's done is done and I managed to find the following items:

- Glow sticks (all given to Kelvin)
- An uneaten stick of gum
- A block of Hershey's chocolate still in its wrapper
- A lighter
- $2.65

That's a pretty good find if I say so myself. Though Kelvin got a toy car which I will forever envy. More voluntary labour was done and we were outside waiting for people to take the equipment away. Since the car was going to drive faster than we could walk, we told the girls who were still with us to head over to the party first. When the car arrived, me, Huy and Kelvin decided to race the car, with obligatory The Amazing Race commentary. Not only did we beat the car, apparently we got there before the girls did.

The place was really packed and most of just sat wherever. Me and Huy got invited to sit at Nancy, Aveline, Samantha and Terry's table, and eat their leftovers. Speaking of leftovers, that Shandy... Next time I will out eat you. I Just Got K'd managed to get their own table and Yuki ran away when it was time to drink. Jibbie however was the opposite. And turns out he's an interesting drunk.

We then went to Crossover for the night. We commandeered studio 4 where we just chilled and stuff. A ice cream run which turned into a 7/11 run because Gelatissimo was closed. MV's on Terry's iPad were watched and then we watched the rest of our showcases on the TV. I found a unoccupied couch and decided to relax on it. I ended up falling asleep for the rest of the night, which was lame because apparently I missed out on games and chats with the rest of the crew. It's almost as bad when I missed out on the reveal of jacket ship. Apparently things went down that night, so sad I missed out. What the hell happened?!

The day after we all got up and decided to go have breakfast, in the afternoon. We went to eat a cafe near World Square. We ate outside which was really cold. Afterwards we went back to Crossover where people were getting ready to watch The Avengers which made me sad cause I wanted to watch it, but I was going to watch it with my brother instead. I'll see it eventually. Decided to go back home and rest in my own home.

It felt weird training it home while it was still daylight. Mainly because I go home at night due to either uni or hanging out with the others during dance. I got home and instead of doing the natural thing and go straight to bed, I decided to watch the pilot episode of Sherlock. It was the same yet different to the actual first episode. I'm glad that the actual series was improved so much from the pilot. The pilot was interesting and had the same plot, but the style was noticeably different. Then came dinner and afterwards I went to take a long nap.

So this whole weekend was very interesting where no school work was done. Speaking of school work, I guess the mini break is over now, and now that it's post Upstaged, there's no events to prepare for anymore. Time to work on my studies. I suppose I should get into the exam mindset now as it'll probably make things easier in the long run, instead of leaving studies to the last minute.

This video was significant to me because when I was a kid I always thought a sword made of diamond would be the best cause you know, no other material can scratch diamond.

Breather

If I could sum up my week in one word, that word would be "strenuous". Trying to catch up on work while at the same time working on three separate showcases can be so draining. In fact this week I could really feel my health deteriorating. Goes to show how I should really be more up to date with course material. I'm not complaining about doing three showcases, but I am starting to regret it. Two I can most likely handle but yes, it would have been more pleasant to have a close friend to do it with. Well what's done is done. The best course of action would be to push on and give it my all. And maybe next time don't bite more than I can chew.

As we reach the end of the week, I can say that a night of relaxing and procrastination is in order. It's always good to remove any stress.

Speaking of relaxing, Sunday was Emily's fifteenth birthday party which she held at Bicentennial Park.
I woke up at 8:15, thank you by the way, after having little sleep last night. How I was able to go to the city so early is a miracle. I met up with Elena, Jibbie and Yuki and we then took the bus to the park. Dan, David and Kelvin were the frontmen for the cooking of the food. The secret ingredient of the day was butter. Lots and lots of butter. Surprisingly not many activities were done during most of the day. It was mostly chill and everyone was pretty much being social and eating food. I took photos and also let Whitney take her famous artistic photos. Some of them were really good (wink) and some were questionable if you actually took them on purpose. Later in the day, bull rush was played. I ended up getting grass stains on my pants and a bandage on my finger. I'm so good at games.

It was time for History practice so we went back to Crossover. So much formation work was done and in the end it actually looked okay. Then it was crew practice and we worked till very late and we were all very tired and hungry. We went to Eating World were the real Japanese place was still open. Good thing because if it weren't I probably wouldn't have eaten anything. After dinner the rest of us headed off to Central and I took train with Huy as my train buddy.


I'm not much of a fan of __. Especially the __ part. I wish I could express my feelings on it in more detail but right now I just can't find the words. (I need to go to sleep)

First day back from the mid semester break and I just remembered I have a lab in the afternoon on Buffers that is to be graded. Just my luck. Break time is over.

Also, is it even possible to get past the Rock Tunnel without FLASH?

Perhaps I was wrong about things. Maybe it is best after all to follow my principles. When I think about it, I feel I was being selfish. 

I'm in a forest. Except everything is now destroyed. At the moment I disregard the cause whatever it may be. I only feel sorrow on the loss of what was once beautiful.

Careless, careless. Shoot anonymous, anonymous.

Surprising how when you realise the lyrics of songs turn out to be in English. Because you could hardly tell until you actually read it in text form. I also just watch the live performance of Teen Top's Supa Luv and the same thing happened again. Sometimes I wish I could unread that stuff. But then again now I can sing along with bad pronunciation also! Maybe I should stop assuming that every word sung is in Korean.

Last night, my brother bought a copy of the Japanese animation Summer Wars. So instead of study I watched that instead. It's a science fiction where the internet plays a vital role in everything. I wish I could say literally everything but it comes pretty close. But anyways, socially awkward Kenji somehow ends up doing a favour for a girl he likes but is a stranger to, because you know, he's a nerd. So socially awkward Kenji ends up in the most socially awkward situation. He has to spend a few days with Natsuki's huge family as they have a reunion for a birthday in their family summer house. Why? Because Natsuki's character is far from socially awkward that she's willing to get a total stranger to pose as her boyfriend. Yep you heard that right. Also those who have seen the Digimon movie would recognise the style of the internet social network in this movie.

I liked the movie, it had an decent storyline, genuine characters and a good artistic style. Too bad my brother insisted on watching it in the English dub. So maybe after a while when the movie is no longer fresh in my head I'll watch the subbed version.

I woke up this morning with nobody at home, except my pet bird who was in his cage minding his own business. So whenever I walk pass the cage I'd have a really light conversation with him. Because you know, I'm totally not lonely like that.

I made my way to the studio where we watched EXO's MAMA music video. Despite bad English it's a pretty good song and dance. Do it as showcase? Maybe, it would be more challenging than the other songs previously planned. 

Whitney was playing this iPhone game where the objective is to solve puzzles and open the door in each level. It was pretty fun and though it was really short. When I got it on my own phone I already finished it before dinner. So much for having something to keep me busy when I'm bored. It needs more levels!

History workshop time. I think we're getting better. Though I totally missed a part and now I'm screwed until I learn it myself till next class. Though apparently we're going to be focusing on the first part for showcase, so practices will be done. Should I do the showcase? I can think of reasons not to, but if IJGK people do it then I wouldn't mind.

Afterwards I had to leave to go have dinner with my brother and parents all the way in Star City so I had to walk all the way there. When we were done we drove back home and during the ride I went to sleep. When we arrived home I proceeded to take another nap because apparently I have a thing for naps. Shower was then had and now we are full circle.

Leonardo DiCaprio scene of the day:

Short day

I felt like I should blog about this. I was checking out my traffic sources for this blog. I found that my main source is still through the crew page. Something that also caught my eye was that there were keywords, specifically "Taemin so you dorito" I guess someone was looking those words up on google or something. So I tried it myself.

I'm the first search result! (excluding video pages)

That is pretty cool. Now I know how Dan feels when his blog became the source for the Cry Cry video.

Today I went to the dentist for my regular check up. I had my teeth cleaned and then covered in fluoride. So that was an awkward thirty minutes. I trained it back home from Cabramatta station and on arrival of home, I took a random nap. I woke up and found that nobody was home. Not the most pleasant feeling. But turns out my dad was out the front cleaning his car and my mother was gone to pick up my brother from tuition.

I suppose I should study. Tomorrow is Sunday which means possible rehearsals and taking History class. I'm still uncertain if I should continue the workshop. Well the convenience of it being on Sunday is there. At least it's not on any other day or I'd be really lazy to go out of my way.

Prioritise

This week I kind of felt demotivated a little. Just a little. Halfway through the week I started having thoughts such as "what's the point of doing all this?" and "will you be able to keep this up all year? In fact, how do you know what you're doing right now is enough?" Despite already experiencing university last year, I still feel uncertainty. I was never examined other than assessments. I would usually sleep through or even skip lectures, and still be fine. My result that semester was a credit average. With mid-semester exams around the corner, I'm glad it's coming. If I do good, then keep up the good work. If I do badly, then it will be a huge wake up call to work harder. Either way I'll be grateful to either outcomes. I guess what I really need is motivation, a thing to drive me constantly and never stopping. But right now, I need a few moments of rest to get me back on my feet.

Tuesday I took my first test. Sure I've done online/computer tests, but this was more serious. A fifty minute mathematics test, where we sat with IDs on our table and such, I haven't had that feeling since high school. The test was easy, I knew how to go about solving them, except the last question. I didn't see that type of question in the past tests so it took me a minute to remember what type of question it was and go about solving it. I guess now it comes down to how many mistakes I've made doing the arithmetic.

Today is the start of the break and I ended up waking up late. Eventually after a bit of reading I made my way to Crossover for popping class. Unlike normal class it was full routine. I guess I should practice some more. But first I should get the song first. Afterwards was random You and I practice. Then Yuki and Elena were really fired up to go to dinner. We ate at Takeru and luckily we had a table the instant we got there. Afterwards we went to the playground near Darling Harbour. Funny enough, we didn't go to the playground but instead went to get gelato and go all the way back to the studio. Ellyn was still there and after a bit, the others came back from their dinner. People were doing rolls and we did some jamming. On a related note, I want you guys to make a video cover with that hat. And we'll add Doritos somewhere too. I'm sure a certain two people on youtube will find it hilarious ;)

A certain someone has been trying to get me to watch Titanic. I did watch it, just that I was so young I completely disregarded it. All I remember was the obvious ship hitting an iceberg and the famous soundtrack by Celine Dion. This movie is going to be rereleased in cinemas in 3D. I'm impersonal about 3D but I decided to watch the trailer.

That was really nostalgic, not to mention intense.

Maybe I will watch it. Depends on if I have time. Also another movie coming out is The Avengers. I've seen every Marvel Universe movie and all those movies were pretty much leading to this. Speaking of superhero crossover movies this new movie from Dreamworks caught my attention.

Santa with a Russian accent? I'm sold.

Since How To Train Your Dragon Dreamworks have met the quality of Pixar's movies. Will this one continue that trend? I'll read the reviews when they come out. With Hugh Jackman as the Easter Bunny I already have high hopes.

I have a dental appointment tomorrow morning, so I should sleep as soon as this is posted. Also this popped into my head just now, I'm sure some of you will like it.

Taemin Dorito

I could write about my uni week. But that would be incredibly tedious. So highlights:


I'm now behind my pre-labs so for my next lab I'll need to fill it out them before class on Monday.


Tuesday was our last BABS lab before having a break. So sad. Going to miss all the shenanigans.


In one of the maths lectures, the first half I was so sleepy until they started talking about coding messages which I instantly had the energy to pay the upmost attention. Funny how my brain works.


In Friday's math tutorial there's a person who sits next to me most of the time. Only today did we properly introduce each other. Though I already knew her name since she lent me her calculator this one time. I'm not a stalker, cause her name was easy to remember. Her name was Carmen and she gave me an asian cookie. Such a nice gesture.


I didn't do Sherlock, mainly because of Lay's showcase. But apparently he wasn't ready yet cause he was studying. He still needed to pick an song so class was just foundation stuff of moves that we'd be likely to use in showcase. Afterwards I watched the others do Sherlock. They didn't get to first chorus. Though the beginning was pretty good actually. I think too much effort was put in the beginning which is why not much got covered.


I'm starting to like Sherlock more because of one word (refer to above image). Also I find it all the more amusing that Taemin is wearing a poncho. If I ever perform Sherlock, I'm going throw doritos at people when it's Taemin's part.


Saturday was the anticipated live audition. We walked to this place which I will now refer to as Better EC. We had final practice on grass and afterwards we went our way to the studio.


What can I say about the other auditions? Speaking objectively as I can, I don't think the singers were that good. When they sang I didn't really feel the energy or emotion. They just sang. I mean if you want to wow people, incorporate body language into your words. Though my personal favourite was David and that other guy. I really liked when the guy sang Daesung's long note. But I think they should have picked a better song. They moved around pretty well and they had an alright presence.


In the dance section, the bboy group was cool, but the bboy parts were too generic, when you do bboy, you can only compare it to other bboys, and most of them do much better. Though the Jay Park part was good, since Jay is a bboy also. Of the dance crews, I think Project 4D and the bboy group were the best of out of them all. Notice how I didn't talk about IJGKd, that's because I'd be bias about it.


Afterwards we celebrated by forcing Ruby to skip studies and have dinner with us. We had Malaysian food which was pretty good. Afterwards others went to get yogurt. In this store, you had to pay by weight. Pretty sure there's a way to get the most amount of food using matrix equations, but that would mean actually doing math in real life.


For the first time since ever, I had a train ride home with people. (I sound like such a loner). Huy was playing an RPG and we were named after the characters. Reminded me of the time Kelvin and I were looking for MMO's to play. Sad that we didn't make it far with that. Dan suggested Runescape. Realistically that's actually the best we can do, since some of us either has running issues, or bad internet.


Instead of getting a lift home, I decided to walk home. Because I could feel more awake and think clearly. I glad I did cause on the way home there was fireworks nearby and I was able to look at them.